Second chances

Exams are over :]
Well, they were kinda over for me since Thursday. Wednesday was Stat & Econ which was a hell day. But Thursday was EnglishLAN & Auto, very chill day. But Fridayyyy, oh man, Friday was the best day, but boring too :/

Thursday was pretty boring. Almost died of boredom & automech for 2 hours, doing nothing. And then I was @ Big Time with Yvette, Mike, & Dawn, and I missed my bus. I was freaking sick but I walked all the way to the Red Line & took the subway. Hyewon rode with me. But Sophia bought Mr. Pizza Factory for us :] It was maddd good. Haven`t had it for over a year.

Yesterday`s finals were periods 3 & 6. My third is Painting & sixth is TA for AP calculus. I didn`t do shittttt. But, it was Mrs. K.C.`s last day because she`s having a babyyyy ! She gave us a week or two to do our final project, but it`s a 2point perspective project & because I`m not very creative, I put it off until the last freaking day. We HAD to draw a box under the horizon line. I was initially thinking of like a girl in perspective, sitting on a desk, holding a box of chocolates or something & have it say will you be mine or something. But then I just drew a horizon line & a box to get myself started because that was a crappy idea. I was going to then draw me inside the box holding a heart or something with the same message, because we were able to make these into cards if we wanted to. But then I realized it was Mrs. K.C.`s last day, so I drew HER with a baby & wrote BABY GIRL on the sides of the box. And I drew lines coming out of the perspective lines because I wanted everyone to sign it but have the technical thing with the perspective that I was going to be graded on.
I sketched, outlined, passed it around, had everyone sign, keep it a secret, and color penciled & watercolored it all in 2 hours. I`m kind of proud of myself.


[Dumb blogspot, it resizes pictures like Xanga does. Asdfghjkl. LET MEEEE BE THE ONE TO FREAKING RESIZE.]
Well, she liked it a lot & she even cried. I really like her ; A; & I`m really going to miss her, asdfghjkl.


Then, in 6th period, I needed to EAT. I was so hungry. All I had that day was a banana & an orange. Well, the entire week, all I had since I woke up to when I got back home was a banana. Plus, I needed to pee really badly. And I needed to sleep but I was afraid that I would pee while I slept because I needed to go THATTT BAD. So I drew out into little comics how much I needed to go. And 2 hours passed by like that.

AHHHH. DAWN`S BIRTHDAY THING WAS SO FUN. I felt so good after I went to karaoke. I haven`t been there in suchhh a long time. I used to go every day after I ended school @ LA High. It made me feel better. I didn`t feel as sick as I did. It was so much fun. We were around my neighborhood so whenever we passed by my street or something, I`d be like "THAT`S WHERE I LIVE, 저기저기저기저기저기" really fast. & Dawn was tryna mimic me & said "요기요기요기요기요기" when we were going to O-De-San & got her mom confused. HAHA. I didn`t eat as much as I thought I would @ unlimited. I wanted to eat more but I started stuffing myself with salad because I`d get constipated if I ate too much meat.
We played a lot of games when we got to Dawn`s pad. :] I liked playing the games. Puahahaha. It was such a hype time. I never played like that when I was @ a gathering with my other friends. We usually just watch TV or something. IT WAS SO FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. I def want to do it again ROFL. & I`m really going to cherish Friday.
Berry pees a lot.
I`ll upload pictures of Friday as soon as I`m done editing them.

Second chances.
It`s funny how we ask for second chances and when we get them, we totally forget about how we`re supposed to have changed for this second chance.
I`m pretty sure it was at a retreat. I begged God for forgiveness because I wasn`t able to change my dad into a Christian. And I begged for a second chance and that this time I would work for Him.
When he showed up @ Wilshire & took me completely by surprise, God was looking at my response. I was a bitch. I totally forgot about my second chance & hated God for bringing him to me this way again. But the more I spent time with him, I realized that he was human too. There was a reason for him acting this way because he`s not a bad person. Something really changed in me.
But I still didn`t realize what I had to do. And then he was gone. I felt a mixture of relief and pain.
I still don`t know what to feel. Asdfghjkl. It really hurts me a lot that I feel this mixture when what I want to feel is only love.

I realized that my second chance was gone at early morning service @ church in the beginning of the year. I was praying really hard for the first time in a very long time & I was even crying. And I started saying, "Please, give me another chance." There was this deja vu thing I was feeling.
I started begging for forgiveness again. I couldn`t even ask for another second chance. I`d blow that one right away, too. I`m not ready. This mixture of feelings might fall too quickly to the side I just left. Right when he enters my life again, I might feel anger again. So I just prayed that someone stronger than I am will save him & that it would happen very soon.
Whoever you are, please help. I`ll be praying for your steadfastness.

This was a very long post.
I DON`T HAVE 1ST PERIOD STARTING MONDAY.
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